How to Interview a Therapist, Part 1: Preparing for the Consult
If this is your first time exploring therapy, welcome! Making the decision to get support isn't always easy, so it's meaningful that you're taking this first step.
Your first challenge is finding a therapist. You might be wondering how to find the best one. First, a quick reframe—instead of searching for the “best” therapist, consider looking for someone who’s the best fit for you. That shift can take some of the pressure off.
Still, trying to find the right therapist can feel overwhelming. The stakes feel high, and it’s easy to second-guess yourself. And sometimes, even well-meaning advice—like the kind in this article—can make the search feel harder. It might start to feel like there’s a right way and a wrong way to do this, or like you need to have it all figured out. I hope that’s not how it feels. And if it does, I’m sorry. My goal is to help, not add more pressure.
If you’re someone who struggles with decision-making or tends to second-guess yourself, having a bit of structure can help. The recommendations that follow are tools, not rules. I encourage you to use them in that spirit. Take what feels helpful, and feel free to leave the rest.
Thinking About Couples Therapy or Family Therapy?
This guide is written with individual therapy in mind, but some of the ideas may still apply if you're exploring therapy with a partner or family member. Just keep in mind that the process of finding a good fit can look a little different when the therapist is working with more than one client at a time.
What if You Haven’t Found Any Options Yet?
This guide is meant for people who have at least one or two therapists they’re considering, but not everyone has gotten that far. If you haven’t found anyone who feels like a good fit or is taking new clients, you’re not alone. Many people are struggling to access mental health care right now. That doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. Sometimes it comes down to timing, cost, long waitlists, or not knowing where to start.
If you’re still in that stage, feel free to save this guide and return to it later. In the meantime, you might explore other forms of support like community-based programs, peer groups, or books about what you’re going through.
The Therapy Consult
Most therapists offer a short, free consult—usually 15 to 30 minutes—as a way for both of you to get a sense of how well you might work together. It’s not an actual therapy session. The goal is simply to see whether the relationship feels like a good fit.
Every therapist handles consults a little differently. Many will start by asking what’s bringing you in and then briefly explain how they work. There’s usually time for you to ask questions too, though the minutes go quickly, so it can help to prioritize what you most want to ask about.
In Part 2, we’ll walk through what to ask during the consult so you’ll have a starting point when it’s your turn.
What To Think About Before the Consult
Before you meet with a potential therapist, it can help to spend a few minutes thinking about what you're hoping for, even if you're not totally sure yet. If you’ve never been in therapy before, you might not know exactly what matters to you, and that’s completely normal. But thinking about it ahead of time can make it easier to notice when someone feels like a good fit.
If you’ve been in therapy before, it might also be helpful to think about what didn’t work for you in the past. That kind of reflection can help you clarify what you want more of—or less of—this time around.
Here are a few areas you might consider:
What kind of practical setup works best for me?
Do I want to meet online or in person?
What days and times am I available?
Will I be paying out of pocket, using insurance, or looking for a sliding scale?
What kind of tone or style might feel most supportive?
Do I want someone who mostly listens and reflects, or someone who’s more active and directive?
Am I hoping to talk things through, learn new skills, or both?
Do I want someone who feels warm and affirming, someone who’s more structured and focused, or someone who challenges me to think differently?
Are there aspects of a therapist’s identity or lived experience that matter to me?
Do I have a preference about their gender, race, sexual orientation, or cultural background?
Am I looking for someone who shares parts of my identity, or someone who’s simply respectful and affirming of who I am?
It’s helpful to think about what you want out of therapy and your therapist before meeting with candidates. But even if you have a clear sense of that going in, try to stay open as you meet with each person. You might feel a connection with someone who doesn’t match everything on your list.
Check the Therapist’s Website Before the Consult
A quick look at a therapist’s website can go a long way. It helps you gather practical information in advance so you can use the consult to focus on things that are better suited for conversation, like how the therapist works, what it feels like to talk with them, and whether it seems like a good fit.
Look for details like:
Fee and payment options (including sliding scale or superbills for insurance)
Session format (virtual or in-person)
Who they work with (adults, couples, teens, etc.)
Cancellation or no-show policies
Licensure information or professional credentials
If the therapist doesn’t have a website, that’s not necessarily a red flag. Many therapists use directories like Psychology Today to share information about their practice instead. But if you can’t find any online presence at all—or can’t verify their license—it’s worth pausing to make sure everything checks out.
If you’re already doing some online research, you might also look them up on California Breeze, the state’s license verification system. Most therapists in California list their license number on their website, but you can also search by name if needed.
Closing Thoughts
You don’t need to have everything perfectly figured out before the consult, but a little preparation can go a long way. Getting clear on a few logistics and thinking about what matters to you can help the conversation feel more useful and less overwhelming.
In Part 2, we’ll walk through what actually happens during a consult and share some helpful questions you can ask to get a better sense of whether a therapist feels like the right fit for you.