How to Interview a Therapist, Part 2: What to Ask During the Consult
Before we dive in, here’s a quick refresher: Part 1 covered preparing for your consult, including how to clarify what you’re looking for, what kind of therapist might be a good fit, and how to set yourself up to get the most out of the consult.
So, what should you do during that conversation? We’ll go over a list of 10 questions that can help you figure out whether this therapist might be right for you.
Those questions are grouped into three sections:
Practical Matters
Approach and Experience
Identity and Beliefs
Consults are usually short, often just 15 to 30 minutes. The therapist will likely have their own questions and talking points, so you may only have a few minutes to ask yours.
That might feel stressful, especially if you tend to overprepare or worry about getting things right. But unfortunately, it’s just not realistic to expect that you’ll be able to talk about everything during this short conversation. That’s okay. You’re just trying to get a feel for the person and their approach. If there are questions you don’t get to, you can always ask them later by email or in a future session.
A lot of the practical info (like fees, availability, or therapy format) may already be on the therapist’s website or Psychology Today profile. Researching that type of information can free up space during the consult to talk about things that are better suited for a real-time conversation—like how the therapist works, or whether it feels like a good fit.
Think of the questions below as a menu, not a checklist. Choose the ones that feel most important to you.
If the idea of asking these kinds of questions out loud feels overwhelming, that’s normal. You can always try emailing your questions ahead of time and letting the therapist know you’d like to touch on them during the consult. It doesn’t guarantee everything will get covered—consults are often short, and not every therapist will have time to address every question—but it can take some of the pressure off and make the conversation feel a little more manageable.
That said, if there’s a question that feels important to ask directly, it might be worth asking even if it’s uncomfortable to do so. How the therapist responds—not just to your question, but to how you're feeling in that moment—can tell you a lot. And in some cases, asking the hard question anyway might be exactly the kind of shift you’re hoping to make in therapy.
With that in mind, let’s take a look at some of the key questions you may want to ask, starting with the practical stuff.
Practical Matters
These questions cover logistics like cost, format, availability, and communication preferences. If anything is missing or unclear on the therapist’s website, it’s perfectly okay to ask.
Question 1: “Can you tell me about your fee and whether you take insurance?”
Why it matters: Therapy is an investment of time, energy, and money. Knowing the cost upfront helps you make an informed decision that fits your situation.
What to listen for:
Clear information about how much each session costs
Whether they offer lower-cost spots (sometimes called a sliding scale)
If they don’t take insurance directly, whether they provide a superbill, a kind of receipt you can submit to your insurance for possible reimbursement
Question 2: “What days and times do you typically see clients?”
Why it matters: Even the best therapist isn’t a good fit if their schedule doesn’t work for you. Asking about availability early can help you avoid frustration or wasted time.
What to listen for:
Whether they offer appointments during the times you’re generally free
Question 3: “What’s your cancellation or no-show policy?”
Why it matters: Life happens. Knowing their expectations around missed sessions can help you avoid unexpected fees or confusion.
What to listen for:
How much notice they require to cancel without charge (usually 24–48 hours)
Whether they make exceptions under certain circumstances
Question 4: “Do you offer teletherapy, in-person sessions, or both?”
Why it matters: Format can affect your comfort and consistency. Make sure the option they offer works for you.
What to listen for:
Whether they offer your preferred format, and how that typically works (e.g., teletherapy or in-person sessions)
If you’re meeting in person, how far their office is from you
Approach and Experience
These questions help you understand how the therapist works and whether their style feels like a good fit for you.
Question 5: “What kind of therapy do you practice, and how does it help?”
Why it matters: Therapists have different ways of working, and you deserve to know what that process looks like and why they believe it helps.
What to listen for:
A clear, jargon-free explanation of their approach
How they believe change happens in therapy, described in plain English in a way that makes sense to you
Question 6: “What can I expect from a typical session?”
Why it matters: Knowing what a session looks like can ease anxiety and help you decide if their way of working feels workable.
What to listen for:
How sessions typically begin, unfold, and wrap up
Whether sessions follow a structure or are more open-ended
If they use tools or strategies (like mindfulness, homework, or exercises) and how that fits into their work
Question 7: “What’s your experience working with problems like mine?”
Why it matters: You want to know whether the therapist has worked with people facing similar struggles, and whether they feel equipped to support you.
What to listen for:
They should be able to name the kinds of problems they’ve helped with in a way that feels specific and relatable
You're not just listening for experience, but for understanding—do they seem to "get" what it's like to live with what you're dealing with?
Even if they haven’t helped someone with your exact story, they seem to understand what you’re going through
Question 8: “How do you measure progress—and do clients help shape goals?”
Why it matters: Therapy should move you toward change. This question helps you understand how progress is tracked and whether your goals help shape the process.
What to listen for:
Whether they check in regularly about how things are going
If they tailor progress to your goals, not just their own criteria
Whether they use any kind of formal or informal measures to help track change
Question 9: “Are there any clients or concerns you don’t typically work with?”
Why it matters: Good therapists know their limits. It can actually be a green flag when a therapist is clear about who they can help and who might be better supported elsewhere. That said, it’s not unusual to feel nervous—or even scared—about asking this question, especially if you’ve ever worried that a therapist might not want to work with someone like you. Asking directly can feel vulnerable, but it can also help you avoid mismatches and find someone who’s truly equipped to support your needs.
What to listen for:
Transparency about the kinds of issues they’re most experienced with
Comfort naming areas they don’t specialize in
Genuine answers that suggest they’re focused on fit, not just filling their caseload
Identity and Values
This question focuses on trust and safety. You want to know your therapist can hold your identity with care and stay engaged with the parts of your life that matter most.
Question 10: “How do you approach working with identity, such as race, gender, or sexual orientation?”
Why it matters: For many people, identity isn’t just background noise. It’s central to how they move through the world. You want a therapist who recognizes that and holds it with care. Even though therapists are trained to keep their personal views in check, biases can still show up. Sometimes subtly, sometimes not.
It’s okay to want reassurance that your therapist doesn’t hold values that conflict with your basic sense of safety or dignity. A Black client shouldn’t have to wonder if their therapist holds racist views. A queer or trans client shouldn’t have to worry that their identity is being judged behind the scenes. And a woman shouldn’t have to wonder whether her therapist sees women as less competent, less rational, or manipulative. No one should have to keep parts of themselves hidden in therapy. Doing so can make progress nearly impossible and might even cause harm.
These dynamics don’t always show up in obvious ways. Maybe the therapist avoids acknowledging race, even when it feels relevant. Maybe they’re visibly uncomfortable when you mention your partner. Maybe they downplay the impact of gender bias after you describe being talked over in meetings or dismissed by male doctors. These moments might seem small, but they can leave you feeling unseen or unsafe. And that matters.
What to listen for:
They sound comfortable talking about identity—not evasive, defensive, or dismissive
They come across as humble, curious, and respectful
If they mention relevant training or lived experience, that’s a plus—but tone and attitude matter more than credentials
Note: Some therapists are trained to avoid self-disclosure and may not directly answer this kind of question. Instead, they might respond with something like, “It sounds like you’re wondering whether I’ll really get your experience.” That’s not necessarily a red flag. But it’s worth paying attention to how you feel in that moment. Do you feel dismissed, or do you feel like they’re trying to understand you?
Want to take these questions with you?
Download a free one-page PDF to bring with you—or just keep it handy as a reference.
When the Consult Wraps Up
Sometimes the therapist will end the consult by asking if you’d like to schedule your first session. Or they might ask something more open-ended, like, “What do you think you want to do?” Even if it’s a simple, well-meaning question, it can feel like pressure, especially if you're unsure how you're feeling or still weighing your options.
There’s no need to make a decision on the spot. In fact, unless you’re feeling totally confident, it’s often better to take time to reflect.
It’s okay to say something like, “Thanks—I’d like to take a day or two to think it over, and I’ll follow up soon.” Giving yourself a little breathing room can help you make a decision that feels thoughtful and grounded, not rushed.
Closing Thoughts
You don’t need to ask every question or get every answer during a short consult. What matters most is getting a sense of how it feels to talk with this therapist and whether they might be someone you could feel safe and understood with.
In Part 3, we’ll talk about how to reflect on the consult after it’s completed and how to make a choice that feels thoughtful, intentional, and right for you.